I know this is not a new tale of woe! LOL. However……

I don’t know how many of you gals are my age with a youngster. Or how many of you were career oriented only to find yourself in a whole different realm. A realm where you traded early morning meetings or appointments for early morning feedings. You traded professional publications for Dr. Seuss and See Spot Run. Where you traded leadership and ownership for motherhood. A realm you never really dreamt of much less expected to become your reality.

I realize this is not a new topic for women. Since we were given the “privilege” to wear pants in public and allowed to chase careers outside prostitution or nanny, women have found themselves “torn”. “Don’t misunderstand me, I LOVE being a mom!” is often heard. As if we have to forward our statements with an assurance of how much we love being the mother to our child. Or perhaps instead it is what others say to us when we lament over lost careers or dreams. Phrases like “You are now fulfilling your greatest purpose, the purpose of raising your little one!”

Though I appreciate where these people are coming from, that they are trying to soothe our sorrow at the loss of “our life as we knew it”, the fact is it often only makes us feel worse. Really, my purpose (my real purpose) is only to be a mother to this small human? My life as a veterinarian, business owner, mentor, dirt biker, horse trainer, dog afficianado, those were not actual purposes only hobbies? Has my life up til now been a farce? Were my goals and aspirations just silly fancies?

Understand, I know that of course none of that is true. But in my weaker moments, when the world is a little darker and scarier than usual, those are the thoughts which permeate my mind and give me pause. And when they permeate, the thoughts become more real. You feel your accomplishments slipping away. You see yourself in a role that does not fully fill you up. You watch your colleagues and friends and see them through colored glasses. Glasses which illuminate them as successful, fulfilled, and not the failure to succeed that you are. You see them marching to a drum you once were in cadence with but you have somehow lost the rhythm.

When I feel these thoughts arising I have to fight hard to not let them take over. The fact is I DO LOVE being a MOM to my baby girl. I know much of my purpose is to raise her to have the same aspirations I had, to go after her big dreams, to create the life she wants. I realize part of my purpose in the this life is to help guide and mentor my Minnie me into a fine woman who isn’t afraid to face the big bad world, who understands not everyone gets a trophy, who boldly takes risks and accepts the disappointments that are certain to pepper her path. My goal is to help her understand she can be both: Wonder Woman and mom. And she can do this without losing any sense of who she is and why she is here!

This is a journey I must accept, one I chose, and one which is filled with life lessons. One of which is Never say Never. I said I would never have kids, but here I sit the mother of a sassy little firecracker named Shiloh Grace. As many of you relate, she is one of my greatest teachers. When I get out of my own way, she humbles me and forces me to see life very differently than I once did. And that is a gift I often forget to unwrap and rejoice in.

My advice to those of you who honor me with reading these words: Unlock the chains you have wrapped yourself in, before they fetter you forever! In other words, nothing is set in stone, and to move forward we often have to stop looking back. This does not mean don’t have dreams, it means see the dreams in front of you, not the ones you have already dreamed.

Walk through your life willing to experience everything and realize that tomorrow may bring a new brilliance wrapped up in something you thought “you never wanted to be or do”. Love to each of you!